My Preliminary Emancipation Proclamation

"I could come off strong & willful, but I'd rather watch it fall to the palm of my hand". I have been wasting my time, my talent and my youth. I just had this revelation...again. I am capable of so much. I'm really quite extraordinary. I don't say it to sound conceited but everyone has their gifts & I have always known what mine are therefore my only excuse for not being successful right now is my cavalier attitude. I've always felt that everything would fall in my lap. I'm tired of waiting for that. The first thing I need to do is hurry up & graduate so I can get out of Richmond. I want to study at University of Sao Paulo this summer. It would be so great to get to Brazil because I know my husband is waiting there for me as well. ;-) But anyway I need to clear my head this week and figure out my next move. I'm having a great time in Philly at my sisters beautiful apartment. I don't want to go back to Richmond tmw. But I have my performance Friday night so I have that to look forward to. I also came to the realization that I am not really in love with David by any means...or anyone else for that matter. I love myself. That's all I need to be sure of right now & I am happy being alone, like I always have been. I worked out today & danced to a Britney Spears mix on demand. Then I ate some greasy pizza guiltlessly because I know it doesn't matter anyway. At least I still have my lightning speed metabolism on my side. I have to go off topic and talk about this Oprah episode with medical nightmares. Dennis Quaid's twin babies were accidentally injected with 1000 times more of some chemical than they needed & he is talking about it. This hospital has excellent PR people because they are on the episode talking about what led to the mistake and all of the machines they have installed to eliminate human error in these situations. Bravo! But now I am afraid to go get my breats checked next week because the doctors told this one guest that she had breast cancer because her mammogram got switched with someone who did. Even though they could not see a tumor or the cancer cells in her MRIs and cat scans they still gave her a masectomy . THEN they tell her AFTER the she is without one of her breasts that she didn't actually have cancer and her mammogram had been switch. Wtf...I have to get my head around all this. I know there is such a thing as human error but that is ludicrous. geez. Anyway the point of this blog entry is that I'm free! I'm emancipating myself from bullshit in my personal life. I will elaborate more soon.