I feel like I should rip my heart of my chest and twist it in my palms to wring out my nothingness.

dramatic I know.

But I'm so confused. When I think I'm wrong, I'm right and when I think I'm right, I'm wrong. It's so frustrating and it's making me a bitter and resentful person at times. I'm not that person.

I'm the happy person who never lets anything get them down. I can laugh at anything. Which I am still doing but the laugh isn't the same. I'm laughing because I don't know what else to do.

I don't even know what I'm really talking about. I don't know what I want. That frustrates me more than anything else. Why can't I just know what I want for once?

The confusion grows more & more everyday though I push it to the back of my mind. I force it into the deepest darkest crevice I can find and when it claws its way back to the front of my head I fight it off again.

damn damn damn...

**disclaimer**I am speaking about matters of the heart (who I love, who I THINK I love, who I wish I didn't love, who I wish I could love) not life in general. I know what I want out of life...for the most part